<5 am on a Friday, 3.6 magnitude earthquake strikes>

him: what was that?!?

me: it was an earthquake, turn on the news!

him: no, what was that?!? <looking out the window>

me: it was an earthquake. i’ve never been in an earthquake!!! how exciting! turn on the news!

him: you still haven’t been in an earthquake.  and even if it were an earthquake, it wouldn’t be on the news instantaneously.

me:  it was an earthquake! i was in an earthquake!

<5:30 am>

me: wake up! wake up! you were wrong about two things. one, that was an earthquake. two, it was on the news!

him: you are SUCH a middle child.